Susie's Reviews Real talk. Real picks. Susie's got opinions.

Susie's Reviews

Real talk. Real picks. Susie's got opinions.

Latest Articles

Viral Minimalist Skincare Promised Me Glowing Skin With Three Products — My Face Disagreed
Fashion & Style

Viral Minimalist Skincare Promised Me Glowing Skin With Three Products — My Face Disagreed

TikTok and Instagram have been screaming 'less is more' at me for two years straight, so I finally gave every trending bare-minimum skincare routine a fair shot. Two weeks per regimen, zero cheating, and a dermatologist who was not impressed with most of what I reported back. Here's what actually happened to my face.

ChatGPT Wrote My Dating Profile and Got Me 10 Dates — I'm Not Sure How to Feel About That
Culture & Opinion

ChatGPT Wrote My Dating Profile and Got Me 10 Dates — I'm Not Sure How to Feel About That

I handed my dating profile over to AI and went on 10 dates without telling a single person. The matches improved. The conversations got weird. And somewhere around date six, I started wondering who exactly these people thought they were meeting.

The Wellness Industry Keeps Renaming Burnout and Calling It a Movement — I Tested the Whole Catalog
Culture & Opinion

The Wellness Industry Keeps Renaming Burnout and Calling It a Movement — I Tested the Whole Catalog

Every few months, a new productivity philosophy shows up promising to be the antidote to hustle culture — and every single one of them is just the last one wearing a different hat. I spent weeks testing the latest batch of 'intentional underperforming' and 'boundary-stacking' trends so I could tell you exactly what's missing from all of them.

My Parents Had Five 'Sensible' Career Fixes — I Tested All of Them and Have Thoughts
Culture & Opinion

My Parents Had Five 'Sensible' Career Fixes — I Tested All of Them and Have Thoughts

When I started complaining about work, my parents had answers. Lots of them. So I actually followed their advice for a few months — and some of it surprised me more than I wanted to admit.

My Company Sent Me a Wellness Toolkit Instead of a Raise — I Used Every Single Item in It
Culture & Opinion

My Company Sent Me a Wellness Toolkit Instead of a Raise — I Used Every Single Item in It

When my HR department started forwarding articles about 'thriving in place' and 'strategic energy management,' I figured I'd do them the courtesy of actually trying it all. Spoiler: the toolkit works great if your problem is that you haven't tried hard enough to be okay with a bad situation. Mine was not that problem.

Lazy Girl Era, Strategic Incompetence, Weaponized Mediocrity — I Tested the Whole Rebellion So You Don't Have To
Culture & Opinion

Lazy Girl Era, Strategic Incompetence, Weaponized Mediocrity — I Tested the Whole Rebellion So You Don't Have To

Every few weeks, a new viral trend promises workers a consequence-free path to doing less. Susie spent a month actually testing the most popular ones — tracking her output, her stress levels, and whether her boss noticed anything. Spoiler: some of these are just procrastination wearing a LinkedIn caption.

LinkedIn Keeps Handing Me New Ways to Tolerate a Bad Job — I Tried All of Them Anyway
Culture & Opinion

LinkedIn Keeps Handing Me New Ways to Tolerate a Bad Job — I Tried All of Them Anyway

Job crafting, strategic side hustles, corporate wellness programs — LinkedIn has a whole buffet of alternatives to actually quitting your job. I spent two months working through every trendy fix so I could tell you with confidence that most of them are just misery with better branding.

Career Coaches Are Selling You a Middle Ground That Doesn't Exist — I Tried Every Trendy Workplace Philosophy to Find Out
Culture & Opinion

Career Coaches Are Selling You a Middle Ground That Doesn't Exist — I Tried Every Trendy Workplace Philosophy to Find Out

Bare minimum Mondays, strategic visibility, the 70% rule — the internet is absolutely overflowing with alternatives to quiet quitting that promise to save your sanity without blowing up your career. I spent two months actually testing these philosophies at my real job, and the results were somewhere between eye-opening and deeply embarrassing.

Six Months of Manifesting My Dream Life — My Dream Life Did Not Manifest
Culture & Opinion

Six Months of Manifesting My Dream Life — My Dream Life Did Not Manifest

I spent half a year testing every manifestation method that blew up on TikTok and Instagram — the 369 method, scripting, abundance journals, the whole circus. Some of it quietly changed how I think. Most of it just made me feel like a spiritual failure.

Dating Less Desperately: I Tested All the 'Low Effort, High Standards' Advice Flooding My For You Page
Culture & Opinion

Dating Less Desperately: I Tested All the 'Low Effort, High Standards' Advice Flooding My For You Page

TikTok and Reddit have been screaming about 'bare minimum' dating tactics — don't double text, protect your energy, stop performing for people who haven't earned it. I spent two months actually trying them to figure out which ones are genuinely freeing and which ones are just anxiety with a rebrand.

I Spent Four Mondays Doing Basically Nothing on Purpose — My Anxiety Did Not Get the Memo
Culture & Opinion

I Spent Four Mondays Doing Basically Nothing on Purpose — My Anxiety Did Not Get the Memo

Bare Minimum Monday promised me liberation from hustle culture one slow morning at a time. What I actually got was a guilt spiral before 10 a.m. and a Tuesday that felt like two Mondays stapled together.

I Went on 50 Dates From Dating Apps So You Can Stop Wondering If They Actually Work
Culture & Opinion

I Went on 50 Dates From Dating Apps So You Can Stop Wondering If They Actually Work

Dating apps promise you soulmates, sparks, and 'meaningful connections' — then hand you a feed of strangers and a monthly subscription fee. I downloaded all the major ones, showed up to 50 actual dates, and have a lot of feelings about what I found.

The Internet Keeps Selling Burned-Out Workers a New Rebellion — I Tested the Whole Menu
Culture & Opinion

The Internet Keeps Selling Burned-Out Workers a New Rebellion — I Tested the Whole Menu

From Bare Minimum Mondays to strategic job-hopping to the four-day workweek fantasy, there's no shortage of people online telling you how to reclaim your soul without losing your direct deposit. Susie spent months actually trying these strategies — and has some very specific notes about which ones hold up and which ones will get you quietly managed out.

Amazon Told Me $400 Worth of Storage Bins Would Fix My Apartment — It Did Not Fix My Apartment
Culture & Opinion

Amazon Told Me $400 Worth of Storage Bins Would Fix My Apartment — It Did Not Fix My Apartment

Susie went deep on viral Amazon organizing products — the stackable bins, the label makers, the closet systems that promise a Pinterest board come to life. Spoiler: most of it is just a more expensive version of the mess you already had. Here's what actually held up.

Everyone on LinkedIn Is Selling You a Career Escape Plan — I Actually Tried Them
Culture & Opinion

Everyone on LinkedIn Is Selling You a Career Escape Plan — I Actually Tried Them

Sabbaticals, portfolio careers, corporate-to-startup leaps — LinkedIn influencers are packaging these moves like they're foolproof exit ramps from burnout. Susie spent months stress-testing the most-hyped ones and has some thoughts, most of them inconvenient.

YouTube Promised Me a Dream Career. It Forgot to Mention the IRS.
Culture & Opinion

YouTube Promised Me a Dream Career. It Forgot to Mention the IRS.

Every other video in my feed lately is some smiling person explaining how they ditched their 9-to-5 and never looked back. I spent weeks actually trying what they pitched — and the part they all conveniently skipped? The financial reality that shows up around April.

Social Media Swore These Career Escape Routes Were the Answer — I Spent Months Testing Every Single One
Culture & Opinion

Social Media Swore These Career Escape Routes Were the Answer — I Spent Months Testing Every Single One

TikTok has a lot of opinions about how you should quit your soul-crushing job and find freedom through side hustles, freelancing, or packing a laptop and heading to Lisbon. I actually tried several of these paths over a few months and have some very honest thoughts about which ones held up.

LinkedIn Said These Work Hacks Would Save My Sanity — My Manager Had Other Ideas
Culture & Opinion

LinkedIn Said These Work Hacks Would Save My Sanity — My Manager Had Other Ideas

I spent three weeks testing every viral 'work smarter, not harder' trick flooding LinkedIn and workplace TikTok. Some were genuinely useful. Most just made me look like I was slowly checking out. Here's the full, slightly embarrassing report.

BookTok Told Me These Novels Would Wreck Me Emotionally — I Mostly Just Got Annoyed
Culture & Opinion

BookTok Told Me These Novels Would Wreck Me Emotionally — I Mostly Just Got Annoyed

Susie went deep into the BookTok rabbit hole so you don't have to, reading through the most algorithm-blessed, emotionally-hyped picks of the year. Some were genuinely good. A few were fine. And more than one made her wonder if we're all just agreeing that things are great because a pretty girl cried about them on camera.

I Watched All the Prestige TV Everyone Called Essential — The Emperor Has Very Few Clothes
Culture & Opinion

I Watched All the Prestige TV Everyone Called Essential — The Emperor Has Very Few Clothes

Critics called them unmissable. Award shows agreed. Social media would not let it go. So I sat down and watched every heavily hyped prestige drama from the past year and came away with a question nobody seems to want to ask: are these actually good, or have we just agreed to say they are? Susie has watched. Susie has thoughts.